Day 6 of recovery post thyroidectomy

Here I am at 6 days post thryoidectomy.  To tell the truth, I am having a hard time trying to think of something to write about today, but I wanted to assure everyone that I am still doing fine.  I am, doing fine, that is.  Although my soft palate is still sore and I am still on a bland liquid diet, it is not as bad as yesterday. My neck incision is still dry and clean with minimal swelling and I am counting down the days until the steri-strips come off (4 days and counting...).  I am past the half-way point with the steri-strips.  Yeah!!  I still have enough energy to get through the day without napping and am not feeling tired after I walk. 

Today I did note that I lost some eyebrow hair along with the hair on my head.  I know that this can be a symptom of unbalanced thyroid levels but, as I am not noticing any other symptoms, I am going to chalk it up to normal. 

It is a dark day outside today the sky is gray and dreary.  The air feels cold and heavy and I have always been prone to mood swings based on the weather.  Still I don't feel sad or stressed at all, just quiet and introspective.  I feel like I'd like to curl up with a good book or good movies for the whole day.  I won't though, because I don't want to be the object at rest that stays at rest.  I will do chores, go for a walk, pick the kids up from school and look forward to the day when I can actually run and work-out again!

Positive Healing

Today my energy has been the lowest since the actual surgery.  I felt tired and lazy and did not want to do anything besides sit in front of the television.  I wondered if this was just some sort of inertia or if it was a real side effect of the surgery.  Maybe I was feeling sorry for myself for the pain in my throat, or maybe I was just bored.  I decided that I would go outside anyway!  I dragged my butt out the door and walked to the local pharmacy for Ensure and Vitamin Water.  It was so nice to be outside.  When I get outside in the fresh air and the natural light I feel normal.  I can forget that I am home from work on Sick Leave and enjoy the great outdoors!! 


This afternoon I read an article about the the power of Positive Thinking and it's link to healing.  I am going to make it a priority to remember this and stay as positive as I can.  Still, I won't hide any feelings or symptoms here. I really do want to paint a real picture of what this whole process has been like for me.  I was so scared and unsure, but at this point, I wouldn't turn back.  I know that I've made the right decision and I know that in time I will heal and I will be even better than I was before!  If I do have other physical problems later I will try to make the best of what I do have and learn from each and every experience I come across.  To quote an old cliche, Life is Short and so I will do my very best to make the most of it! 


I will also lean on my friends.  The support that I have found in the past few weeks has been amazing, from phone calls, to texts, to e-mails, to visits, to cards and gifts, and facebook support.  I had initially kept most of this process very private and dealt with everything alone.  Then I decided that I was really scared, so I admitted it and I reached out to my friends and family and I can not express how glad I am that I did.  Everyone has truly been so amazing!  Thanks so much to each and every one! 

Pain

Good morning,
Yesterday went quite well.  I am continuing to rest but am also continuing on with my day and walked for 1/2 hour.  Although it is hard to say for sure, my energy level seems pretty good.  I haven't put it to the test with a full day's work though.  I didn't nap yesterday and only woke up a couple of times through the night last night.  My incision line is covered in steri-strips but seems to be ok and is not very painful.  My house is neat and tidy, the kids are fed and clean and the I am on top of the laundry.   The house is definitely in better shape then when I am working full time :)  I haven't had any weight gain and overall I am feeling pretty good.

The only problem I am is having is the pain in my mouth.  My soft palate has been really sore since I woke up in recovery.  I have been eating mostly a liquid diet this whole time.  It is getting a little boring and so last night I thought that once again I would try something solid and now my soft palate is ON FIRE!!!!  I know it is likely my fault but I can't wait to be able to eat real food.  Television shows and especially commercials are torture to watch, not to mention all the food that my family is eating in front of me.  Today is the worse day of pain in my mouth during this whole recovery process.  I am hoping that it is the storm before the calm....You know, that it has to get worse before it gets better.  Regardless I have promised myself no talking for the next two days and NOTHING BUT BLAND LIQUID until my mouth is feeling much better!!!  If it is not feeling any better tomorrow I will call the Surgeon.  I am also gargling with salt water after I eat and still drinking plenty of ice water.  So, please take it from me, if the your soft palate/uvula is painful after surgery please DO NOT eat anything solid until it is feeling much better. 

Despite this, I feel that I am doing well and I am sure that with time this pain will subside as well and before you know it I will be able to eat real food again.  I can't wait!  Maybe I can convince my husband to take me to a nice restaurant once I am feeling better. 

Ice Water

Yesterday after I posted I started to feel much better.  I did relax quite a bit and was able to watch a movie but I also did some laundry, some cleaning and even went for a 20minute walk.  My throat is still very sore and my incision line is swollen and tender, but I do feel as though I am getting better each day.  The ice water has been my best friend.  It really helps my throat to feel better and staying hydrated will also help the healing process.  I tried to eat more solid food yesterday for breakfast and lunch.  Although I was able to get them down, I found that it made my throat more painful for the rest of the day.  A throat lozenge at bedtime helped but today I am back to mostly liquids. 

My brain used to be in a constant fog and now I feel as though I am thinking more clearly than I have in a long time.  I don't know if that is an effect of the surgery or just that I am not experiencing all  the normal stressors of day to day life.  I definitely could get used to this change in my thought processes, either way. 

I did take a nap for about an hour yesterday.  I probably could have gotten away without one but I am trying to rest my body so that it can heal.  My goal will be to walk longer and nap less as the week goes by. 

I had been working on weight loss prior to the surgery and was prepared for my weight to go back up again post-op.  However, at this point, I am still gradually losing weight.  I know that it is early and I will try not to become discouraged if it does bounce back up again. 

Cytomel

Cytomel tablets for thryoid replacement

Last night was a rough night.  I tried to stay away from the Tylenol 3 but woke up at 4am in severe pain.  I actually woke myself up because I was groaning in pain.  I took the Tylenol with a large drink of water and finally went back to sleep.  I woke up feeling the effects of the codeine and felt terrible but after taking my cytomel, eating breakfast and relaxing I am starting to feel more normal again. 

I will take the cytomel until the pathology report comes back (in about 7days).  If the pathology is clear I will then start Synthroid.  If I need RAI I will need to be hypothyroid.  Since Cytomel is shorter acting than Synthroid it can be stopped to induce a hypothyroid state sooner. 

Incision 2 days post-op

The following day after surgery.  I was feeling quite well besides a sore throat and some neck pain.  I even went for a short walk with my son and was doing light house chores.  My husband told me that I should relax, but I told him that I wasn't quite sure how to do that.   I wanted to spend some time watching a movie with my family but they were all busy with their own things.  I watched some TV as my kids went to friends.  I have been so lucky to have so much support in the form of people wathcing the kids, bringing us food and sending well wishes.  I really think that this has helped me to feel so much better so soon. 

I have still been eating a liquid diet and have found that ice water has made a huge difference.  I always have a glass nearby and am constantly filling it with ice.  (*tip*)

Family wanted to come visit us in the afternoon so I took a nap so I would be ready. Still when they came I didn't expect to be tired so soon.  When they left I was ready for bed again.  I was able to relax with the kids and help get them ready for school the next day before I finally fell asleep exhausted.  

For Breathing Exercises

This is the tool used for breathing to increase lung capacity. 

One day post-op

The day after surgery I was still in the hospital.  My vitals and calcium were monitored regularly and I was allowed out of bed.  The first time that I got out my blood pressure plummeted again but eventually it returned to normal.  There was also some concern about my temperature but I think it was because I wasn't taking the Tylenol 3.  I felt as though there was something stuck in my throat but couldn't dislodge it. The nurses thought that maybe it was the drains but when the drains were removed there wasn't any relief.  I later discovered that my uvula was stretched and inflamed from the ET tube and this made swallowing quite difficult.  The nurses gave me a tool to breath in to help re-inflate my lungs.  I was to breathe in it 15 times every 15 minutes.  My final blood test for calcium was taken that evening and when it came back normal I was discharged and sent home to sleep in my own bed.


I did take a Tylenol 3 at bedtime but was still awake every 2 hours.  I felt as though my uvula was choking me but found that if I lay on my side it helped some.  By morning I was feeling much better and couldn't believe that I would need 2 weeks off of work.  I started Cytomel and continued with my liquid diet (due to that irritated uvula). 

Scar After Drain Removal

The drains were removed yesterday and cotton placed over the holes in case of more draining. 
I passed the day reading, e-mailing friends and talking to hubby. 

The lady in the next bed

That night I do my best to get some sleep and despite the mutiple tests etc throughout the night, I actually feel rested the next morning.  I learn from my surgeon that my thryoid was very difficult to remove.  It was very vascular and he feels that if we had waited much longer it may have been impossible to remove.  Now, I know that I did the right thing.   Although the nurses are nice, I don't learn much about them. However, I do learn about the lady next to me.  She has been there for 4 weeks because she doesn't have any family or anywhere to go.  She had a family but they don't want anything to do with her.  I wonder what it takes for that to happen.  I can't help feeling so sad for her and so grateful for all that I have.  A friend of mine has brought me magazines, I barely glance at them before I hand them over to the lady in the next bed.  I know that this isn't enough, but I don't know what else to do. 

post thyroidecectomy menu

My calcium levels remain low normal and I get through the day until I have to sit up to eat dinner.  Then my blood pressure bottoms out.  For others out there ready this please don't worry that this will happen to you.  It is the way that my body responds to general anaesthetics and is not routine.  From then on, I am not allowed out of bed until I can keep a steady normal blood pressure.  I am able to get all of my food down with a straw.  Here is the wonderful menu I eat during my stay in the hospital: 

Dinner:           
Vegetable Broth
Orange Gelatin
Apple Juice
Tea

Breakfast:
Orange Gelatin
Apple Juice
Coffee

Lunch:
Vegetable Broth
Orange Gelatin
Apple Juice
Tea

Dinner:
Vegetable Broth
Orange Gelatin
Apple Juice
Tea

So much variety, colour and texture....yum!!! 

Post thyroidectomy scar complete with drains.

This is how I looked when I woke up.  I don't remember being in the recovery room, only transferring to the bed in my hospital room.  The nurses were poking and prodding for calcium levels and vitals.  I was asked to keep wiggling my toes and fingers, drink ice water, do deep breathing exercises and stay awake.  My husband had to keep reminding me of these things as I fell in and out of sleep all afternoon.  I would be talking to him and fall asleep mid-sentence to do laundry in my dreams. 

Thyroidectomy

Hubby and I get to the hospital and can't quite believe how busy the surgery admit is. All of the beds are full! We take a chair and wait to be called. I am even more nervous now! Then the nurse calls me to take my vitals. We share a name so I take that as a good sign. I also learn that my scale at home matches the hospital and that all of my hard work really has paid off. Yeah!! She gives me an Ativan and so I can almost ignore the prisoner brought in by armed police men, remembering all of the "good signs" I've had!! I still have my phone and am answering texts and e-mails while on the ativan...probably not a good idea :).


Next we are brought to another room to wait. I am feeling more relaxed. I hold Hubby's hand and just wait. I have had surgery before but I have never walked directly into the surgery suite as I do this time. I hop up on the bed on my own as I have one last panic attack...wondering if I am really doing the right thing. I begin to cry but the nurse calms me down. She tells me that I'll walk up the same way I fall asleep so I try to smile. I am terrible with needles and they have a hard time getting the IV but I stay strong and smile. I ask which anesthetics they'll use and the anaesthtist tells me propofol. I hate that it will knock out my memory but I don't have a choice so I work hard at remembering everything. The surgery suite is so large and bright. I can smell the disinfectants and other chemicals and I love the pattern on the nurses surgical cap. It is decorated with pale pink flowers. The anesthetist injects the sedative IV and it stings so bad that my toes curl but then the assistant places a mask over my face and I don't remember anything else.

Goodbye Goiter....

Today is the day. I'm surprised I was actually able to sleep last night. I did though and even found it difficult to wake up. Now I'm up and just waiting. I need to be at the hospital in another hour and then the fun begins. I woke up in turmoil again but read my ultrasound report and felt at peace again. I feel exhausted, yet super aware. I can hear all the little humming noises the house is making. The first morning sun is pouring in the window illuminating edges that seem hidden later in the day. I am anxious, terrified even but I can, I will do this and I will feel better.

The last day with my thyroid.

Today is the last day with my thryoid.  I feel like I should say goodbye in some significant way, but how do you say good bye to your thryoid?   It's not like you can hold a big farewell party!   So today I will go about my normal business and try to be sure that my house is clean, laundry is done and the fridge is stocked for my return from the hospital. 


Yesterday I had my pre-op at the hospital. Even as I sat there going through the pre-op tests I was still wondering if I was doing the right thing.  I knew that I had to be absolutely sure of the decision to go ahead with the thyroidectomy before the actual procedure.  Then I remembered that the last ultrasound showed continued growth on that dominant nodule.  I did some more research and realized that I could rarely find personal accounts of nodules as big as mine.  I have been concerned because my goiter is really not that visible on the outside of my neck.  At least it's not as large as I've seen during my research.  However, I think that more of my thyroid is inside my neck and possibly under my sternum where it causes more compression on my trachea and esophagus. 


Although my neck is uncomfortable at this point it is still quite bearable. However, when I have a cold the compression feels much worse and if this nodule continues to grow it will become unbearable and possibly even dangerous.  I would rather undergo a planned surgery when I am healthy and relatively young, than have emergency surgery later when I may not be as healthy.  I have multilpe nodules all over my thryoid with the smallest being greater than 10mm and the largest being longer than 50mm.  If any of these nodules continues to grow it could cause a problem.  What if all of them continue to grow?  


I have known all of this for some time and that is why I originally made the decision to go ahead with the surgery.  The problem has been that there has been so much time between making this decision and the actual surgery date that I forgotten the reasons I made the decision.  I don't want to have surgery, and I don't want to take medication for the rest of my life, but I do believe that in the long run this is the best decision for me. 

Three days.....

Today was so crazy at work that I forgot all about my surgery. At the end of the day I checked my e-mail and found a message wishing me luck on Friday. It took me a minute to remember why I needed luck on Friday :). Hopefully the rest of the week goes by like that as well. I have my pre-op appointment tomorrow though, so that will probably jog my memory.

Today the surgeon's office finally phoned me to give me a time for the surgery. They left a message though, so I will have to call them tomorrow to find out.

Four days....

I can't believe that I only have 4 days left with my thyroid. I spoke with a lady on the weekend who had the surgery and is really glad that she did. I hope I feel the same. I go from being totally at peace with the decision, to utter and complete panic, where I can barely breathe, to just forgetting about it altogether. I have to say that I like the forgetting the best :).

This morning I woke up with a sore throat. If I get a cold, especially with a fever, I will have to cancel the surgery. I don't know if I could deal with that. It's not that I want the surgery but I am concerned about going through all if this waiting again.

For the past few days, I have felt as though I have something stuck in my throat and I feel more of that choking sensation. I'm not sure if I am mire conscious of it or if it is getting worse.

The last ultrasound stated that the module was 50mm long and over 30mm thick and wide. It doesn't look that big from the outside so it must be growing inwards.

Five days and counting..

Less than a week before my surgery date and I am getting nervous (Ok, I admit I've been nervous all along). 

I still haven't received a pre-op package but the endocrinologists office was VERY helpful, where the surgeon's office was not.  The receptionist at my endocrinologist's.  Phoned, faxed and went to the hopsital on her lunch hour to lobby for me.  So now, although I don't have a pre-admit package, I do have an appointment at the hospital for pre-admit.  Sometimes I think that all of these road blocks are signs that I shouldn't go ahead with the surgery, but I know that's just supertition or else, me trying to justify cancelling  :) 

I have e-mailed my family and close friends to let them all know the date and have asked for their prayers and support so now I plan to go about my regular business until the time of surgery.....

My Goiter



My Goiter

I don't know if you can appreciate the swelling in my neck.  It doesn't appear very large here but is causing compression on my trachea (windpipe) and my esophagus. 

Less than 2 weeks before surgery

Here I am less than 2 weeks before my scheduled surgery and I am still waiting for the pre-op package I was told would come in the mail.  I had meant to call last week but had a hectic week at work.  I decide that I should call my surgeon's office to find out where it is.

I call and get a recorded message telling me that the whole office is closed until the day before my surgery.....

I know that I will need bloodwork and a physical exam, so what am I to do.  I have about had it with this surgeon's office and once again wonder if I am actually doing the right thing.  Then I remember how difficult it is to breathe sometimes. 

I am able to reach my endocrinologist and she gives me the numbers for the hospital to reach the surgery booking department.  Hopefully they will be able to get a package to me soon. 

Getting my life back

Now, I am back to waiting and worrying.  I have been putting my life on hold.  I can’t vacation with my friends.  I have to tell people that I can’t commit to plans, as I’m not sure when this surgery will take place.  I become depressed and obsessed with a stupid date.  I also wonder again if I am making the right decision.  I am back on the internet, reading accounts of people who didn’t have a good experience.  I decide that I need another ultrasound to help me make this decision.  I have my GP order a third ultrasound and I learn that my thyroid and the dominant mass have both grown significantly since the last scan.  I also get another severe respiratory infection which makes breathing difficult once again.  I continue my on-line research and come to the conclusion that the surgery IS the right thing to do for me. 

I tell my employer that I have to have surgery but am not sure when.  She has me try to find replacements for fabricated dates.  In December I call and try to get some idea of a date.  They have no idea.  They can’t even give me a month:  probably January; maybe February.  They will call me when they know.  I don’t want to call them and drive them crazy so I wait, and I wait and I wait……

The end of January, I have an invitation from an old friend to go on an amazing adventure.  It is a hiking expedition at the end of May.  It will be very physical but very rewarding.  I tell my husband thinking he will think it is crazy but instead he encourages me to go for it.  I decide that I can’t pass it up.  It gives me new life, new hope, a new attitude.  I begin training for the trip right away.  I make other plans; I get back to life, back to living.  My friend has no idea but on some level she saved my life with her invitation.  I am so excited.  Still before I can book the trip I need to b sure that my surgery won’t interfere.  I call the surgeon again.  I want to know if there is a date and if he feels that I could do this trip after it.  When I call they say that they may have a date in March but they aren’t sure.  I ask my question and they say they will get back to me.  One week later, I still haven’t heard and can’t reach them.  I call the endocrinologist and ask if I will be ready to hike 2 months after surgery.  They say I will.  I book the trip.  A few days later I finally reach the surgeon’s office, they confirm the date and now here I am preparing for the surgery.  My employer asks me if I really need the surgery and I briefly wonder once again, but I can’t go back and forth like this and I know that for me this is what I need to do. 

I am glad that I have this trip to look forward to.  It has made me increase my exercise regimen and I will work even harder to get better faster post-op.  I am focusing on the trip instead of the surgery and I WILL GET BETTER QUICKLY.   For the past 6 weeks I have been working hard to be in good shape for the surgery and to make it to this trip.  I have lost 10 lbs and am feeling stronger and more positive every day.  I won’t let my crazy goiter get me down. 

A Surgery Date

I go back and forth and back and forth.  Finally I decide that I will do it and I forget about it.  I wait to hear about a surgery date.   I move on with my life.  I enjoy the summer and forget about my thyroid.  I do wonder a little bit, why I haven’t heard about a date.  Maybe they forgot about me?  Maybe I won’t have to think about it again. 

Finally, as I am planning a quick vacation for a family wedding, I decide that I should touch base with the surgeon.  They said that the surgery date would be in October.  At this point it is October and I haven’t heard anything from them.  I can’t reach him but 2 days later I receive a message on my phone that they have a date.  The date is in 2 weeks.  Really!!!!  I have waited months for this date and now I have only 2 weeks, to find someone to care for my kids, someone to replace me at work and 2 weeks to mentally prepare for this!!  All while on vacation and trying to participate in a wedding!  I politely decline the date and tell them that I need more warning.  They caution that the next date won’t be until the New Year.  I tell them that I understand and begin the waiting again. 

So, for the next few months I don’t think about much else besides my crazy multi-nodular goiter.  It isn’t huge to look at, but it does choke me.  I can put up with that, but what if it is cancer?  What if it gets larger and I can’t eat?  What if I can’t breathe?  I ask all of my friends what they would do?  I discuss this with my husband to no end.  I make an appointment with my GP.  She says that the endocrinologist and the surgeon know better.  I believe her but still want her opinion.  She says that the surgery isn’t a big deal and that if the specialists are recommending that it be removed, I should listen to them.  If I was asking her if I should have a corn removed she would urge me to think more of it, as the recovery from that can be worse but usually recovery from a thyroidectomy goes very smoothly.  She says to discuss it with my family…huh?  I mean I have spoken with them, but they don’t have medical backgrounds.  Why can’t she answer my questions?  *sigh*

Making a Decision

I make a list to help me decide what to do: 

Reasons to keep my thyroid: 
   1. NO need for replacement medications. - what if I don't respond well with syntroid?

2. No risk of surgical complications
      a)  hypocalcemia - tremors, nausea, later bone loss, etc.
      b) hypoparathyroidism
      c) loss of voice - either temporary or very rarely permanently - I wouldn't be able to work. 
 
   3. Anesthetic complications: 
          a) brain damage
          b) kidney damage
          c) DEATH


Reasons to remove my thyroid:
1. It is large and growing

     2. It is compressing on my trachea and esophagus. - What if the compression turns into an emergency situation? 

3. I have risk factors for cancer -
      a)  one dominant nodule
      b)  growing nodule
      c) compression of trachea and esophagus
      d) radiation exposure
      e) I'm not positive but I think I may have enlarged lymph nodes. 


I know that the biopsy came back benign but what if it was wrong.  I decide that I would rather take out a benign thyroid than miss a cancerous one and so I finally decide to go ahead with the surgery.  

Diagnostics and Decisions

The next day I see the surgeon at the hospital.  Again I am waiting for some time until it is my turn.  I have a love/hate relationship with hospitals.  I am in awe of what happens there but they instinctually make me nervous.  As I wait I can hear the consultations with the other patients.  This always makes me wonder about the truth in patient confidentiality.  When the surgeon finally comes to my side of the curtain, he is surprised to see me.  He says that the appointment should have been at his office, not the hospital.  Still he proceeds to discuss the details of the surgery, the possible complications and risks of pursuing the surgery, and of not pursuing the surgery.  He tells me that he strongly recommends the surgery but gives me the option to decline.  Now I am even more confused.  Should I proceed with the surgery, or shouldn’t I? 

If I don’t there is a risk that my goiter will continue to grow and could cause damage to other organs in my neck.  There is also still a slight risk of cancer.  If I do proceed with the surgery I will need to be on medication to replace my thyroid hormones for the rest of my life.  There is a risk that I will become hypothyroid and I have read accounts of people who have not responded well to synthetic hormone replacement.  What if that is me?  What if I can’t function normally after the surgery?  Not to mention the possible complications of the surgery itself:  hypoparathyroidism, hypocalcemia and laryngeal nerve damage.  These things can be permanent or transient but permanent changes are very rare.  I have had anesthetic procedures in the past and I don’t do well with them.  The drugs seem to hit me harder than the average person and I am out of sorts for days.  This with the addition of hypothyroidism and possible hypocalcemia, how long will I take to recover? 

The surgeon tells me that I need to see him at his office for another test so I book the appointment when I leave the hospital. I show up at his office in two days and again he is surprised to see me.  I assumed that I had to make this appointment regardless of if I was to have the surgery or not but he assumed that I should only come if I was booking the surgery.  Again, I left confused.  I did sign to book the surgery.  The next available dates weren’t for 7 months.  I figured that I had lots of time to think about it and change my mind if I wanted. 

My Multinodular Goiter

The endocrinologist was very nice and professional, and explained all of the things I had researched.  She told me that she didn’t feel that my exposure to radiation should be a concern but still she wanted a second ultrasound and a biopsy.  I knew that this was coming but the idea of someone sticking a needle in my neck didn’t sit so well with me.  A needle in my arm was bad enough, but a needle in my neck….it just didn’t seem right.  She felt my neck expertly and explained that the risk of cancer was low but that I had to have it ruled out.  She also ordered more blood tests just to be sure that all of my levels really were normal.  I would definitely be surprised if they weren’t normal, after all of the times I have had them tested. 

I went for the second ultrasound…similar scenario as last time with me trying to see the screen and feeling that choking sensation from the position of my neck along with the probe pressing on my enlarged thyroid gland.  After some time, the radiologist himself showed up with a needle to obtain the biopsy.  My neck was cleaned and prepped and they actually stuck that thing right into my neck.  Boy, was I glad when it was over.  I wasn’t so worried about the waiting this time, just relieved that the needle was out of my neck.  

Flash forward about a week or so, I am home cleaning my house on a Sunday afternoon when the phone rings and it’s my endocrinologist….. On a Sunday!  She states that the test results indicate a benign multi nodular goiter (whew).   Despite the fact that it is benign she still recommends that it be removed surgically, due to the compressive symptoms that I have described.  She recommends surgical excision and has an appointment booked with the surgeon for the next day.  OK…wait a minute.  If this is benign, what is the rush to see the surgeon?  She explains that he is difficult to get an appointment with so she doesn’t want me to miss this one.  I accept her explanation; while in the meantime, my head is questioning the urgency and going off on all tangents at once.  

My First Thyroid Scan

My first thyroid ultrasound was scheduled nearby and occurred within a few days of my doctor's appointment.  I wasn't nervous about the procedure but I was nervous about what the results would show so I waited anxiously for my name to be called.  When it finally was, I was led to a dark room and asked to lay down on my back, and put my head back.  I am able to somewhat read an ultrasound and so my instinct was to try to look at the screen but of course this didn't allow for the best positioning of my neck so I strained my eyes sideways to try to see.   The ultrasonographer placed the cool sticky probe on my neck and began scanning. It seemed to take forever and I often felt as though I was choking.  I was glad when it was over but then it was time to wait for the results. 


I am not so good at waiting and so I spent hours searching for information on thyroid diseases and cancer.   I learned that thyroid cancer was considered the "good cancer" but somehow this didn't put my mind at ease.  Of course, I was thinking of the worse scenario.  In my career as a veterinarian I have had exposure to radiation from x-rays on a regular basis.  I do wear protective clothing while restraining animals for x-rays, but I still couldn't help but wonder if I had caused these problems myself.  Had I exposed myself to enough radiation to result in thyroid cancer?  I tried to find information relating veterinarians to an increased risk of thyroid cancer but I couldn't find anything which would indicate such.  I tried to remember this and relax until the results came in. 


Then, finally my GP phoned me with the results.  I went to her office and learned that my thyroid was enlarged (like I couldn't tell from the lump in my neck), and that it had multiple nodules.  The thyroid is the shape of a butterfly with a left and right side and a center portion called the isthmus.  I had nodules in both sides as well as the isthmus.  The largest of these masses was on the left side and measured over 1 1/2 cm.   Although it is not uncommon for nodules to be present in the thyroid gland, the large nodule on my left was cause for some concern due to it's size.  I also learned that thyroid cancer is less common in  a thyroid that has multiple nodules than in a gland that has one solitary nodule.  I kept this in mind as I waited to see the endocrinologist.  It would be a much longer wait for this appointment so I had to keep positive and keep my mind on other things. 

My Troublesome Thyroid

I am scheduled to have a total thyroidectomy at the end of this month and have spent endless hours searching for information and answers so that I might make an informed decision.  I want to be sure that I am doing the right thing.  I have found first hand accounts that have inspired me and even more that have scared me.  I have been trying to find a realistic picture of this process but I have to admit that I have spent some time dwelling on the negative experiences of others.  I want to stay positive and move forward through this experience and since I haven't been able to find many whole stories I thought that I would start this blog.  I am new to blogging, so please bear with me, as I find my voice.  I plan to start with a few blogs to give a history until now, and then I will continue with a real time account as I continue on this journey. 

I'm not quite sure when I first noted the lump in the front of my throat, but I do know that I spent some time ignoring it.  I knew that it was there and that it was likely my thyroid but I didn't talk to my doctor about it.  I thought that it must be nothing.  I had a family to look after, as well as a demanding full time job.  There would be times when I would imagine that I had symptoms of either hypo or hyperthyroidism so I did go to the doctor for blood tests to rule these out, but the doctors never noted the mild swelling in my throat.  (At least they never mentioned it to me).  My test results always came back normal and so I convinced myself that the mass must be nothing...even while part of me knew that thyroid cancer doesn't result in symptoms of hypo or hyperthyroidism.  I thought that if I wasn't sick it was fine. 

Then I started to have difficulty when I lifted my arms above my head or leaned over to far.  I would start to choke and cough.  I just avoided these positions and continued to ignore my thyroid until I developed a terrible flu.  I had severe respiratory symptoms that kept me in bed for days.  I am an asthmatic and so respiratory illnesses always seem to hit me harder.  I had difficulty breathing but it wasn't related to the asthma.  It was more like a choking than the chest tightening symptoms caused by asthma.  Finally I went to my doctor and said "my thyroid is enlarged".  She agreed and sent me for an ultrasound, and a consult with an endocrinologist; and that was the beginning of the journey with my thyroid.